The Swarm.

Michael Caine and Katharine Ross try to save a Texas town from an invasion by killer bees.

Release Date: July 14, 1978. Running Time: 116 minutes (theatrical), 155 minutes (extended). Screenplay: Stirling Silliphant. Director: Irwin Allen.

Note: This review is based on the 155 minute extended version.


THE PLOT:

When a missile base in Texas goes silent, military forces under the command of General Slater (Richard Widmark) investigate. A team in full hazmat suits goes in, ready for anything. What they find are the dead bodies of the base personnel and a single, unarmed civilian: Dr. Bradford Crane (Michael Caine), an entomologist claiming to be on the trail of a swarm of bees.

Slater and his second-in-command, Major Baker (Bradford Dillman), are naturally suspicious of this outsider. But the base's surviving doctor, Helena Anderson (Katharine Ross), confirms that they were invaded by bees. The bees attacked suddenly, leaving only a few survivors that she's been tending to, and then just as abruptly left.

More information comes in that supports Crane's account. Two of Slater's helicopters spot the swarm - and then are downed by it. Then a couple from the nearby town of Marysville are stung to death during a picnic, with only their young son Paul (Christian Juttner) surviving.

This is abnormal behavior for bees, and the reactions of Paul and the surviving soldiers to just a few stings is even more abnormal, leading Crane to conclude that these are African "killer" bees. Soon, Crane has been placed in charge of a team of scientific experts working out of the base, with Slater answerable to him - an arrangement that sits poorly with the general.

And as the two men struggle with each other over the best response to this crisis, the bees prepare their next, even more devastating attack!

Dr. Crane gives a briefing on the bee invasion.

CHARACTERS:

Dr. Bradford Crane: In a movie filled with things that don't work, the single most damaging element is... Michael Caine. Caine is no stranger to bad movies; but he usually makes them better, whereas here he actively makes the film worse. He recites his lines in a dead-eyed monotone, seeming to not quite believe the words that are coming out of his own mouth. Occasionally, a scene will call for Dr. Crane to be assertive - which results in Caine shouting, but with just as little emotion as he puts into his monotoning. Acknowledging that I haven't seen every turkey Caine has made, I nevertheless strongly suspect that this marks his career worst performance.

Helena: A doctor assigned to the base. She used to be Marysville's town doctor, and she knows Paul and his family well. Despite being career military - at least, judging from the various ornamentations on her uniform - and despite having military patients during a full-fledged crisis, she is apparently allowed to leave the base at will to go chasing after Paul on multiple occasions. She also has no problem sniping at a superior officer at one point to defend Dr. Crane. Oh, and she ends up in a chemistry-free relationship with Crane on the general principle of "we're both relatively young and attractive, so why not?" Katharine Ross seems to be taking inspiration from Michael Caine in that, like him, her lines are mostly delivered in a monotone with a blank facial expression.

Gen. Slater: With Caine and Ross trying to out-robot each other, it falls to the supporting cast to carry the movie. Slater isn't particularly better-written than the two leads. This was the '70s, so a career military man in a movie was pretty much automatically an idiot. For two full hours, Slater's role is to be reliably wrong at every turn while also being paranoid about Dr. Crane - only to, in the final half hour, suddenly develop respect for Crane for no particular reason. Though the role isn't good, Richard Widmark pours full energy into it. He spits, sneers, and chews on every line, devouring his cheesy dialogue like it's particularly well-cooked prime rib. The results are more than a little hammy - but given the material, a bit of ham is called for, and at least Widmark is fun to watch.

Dr. Krim: The great Henry Fonda gives postcard glimpses of what The Swarm might have looked like if it had been a good movie. Fonda's body language and expressions create responses that aren't really present in the script, from the way he sits in the midst of the bodies of the dead soldiers to the grave look he gives when the father of one of the men comes to claim his son's body. Even setting aside Fonda's performance, the character is more human on the page. He grouses about the food, wondering "what the hell does a man have to do to get a simple beer and pizza," and he interacts better with the military - respectful even when voicing disagreement. He even gets the film's one "hero" moment - and had he been the lead, this would automatically be a better (well, less bad) movie.

Major Baker: Bradford Dillman, a good actor who got typecast as weasels, plays Crane's military liaison - who is, yes, a weasel. He's ordered by Slater to keep an eye on Crane. This does not in itself make him bad. But the way he tries to get Krim to say something negative about Crane is pure snakelike behavior, and he slithers off the instant Krim shoots down his effort. He later tries to toady up to Slater by making comments about Crane behind his back - resulting in Slater giving him a firm verbal kicking. Dillman makes the most of his screen time, making Baker twitchy and, in his interactions with Helena, even a bit lascivious. He gets verbal slaps from, at various points: Crane, Krim, Slater, and Helena. After so much verbal battery, his eventual death by bee might well qualify as a mercy killing.

Maureen, Felix, and Mayor Tuttle: With killer insects threatening the countryside, you might think we have enough plot for one bad movie. But Irwin Allen needs his subplots, and so we are graced with a senior citizens' love triangle among Olivia de Haviland, Fred MacMurray, and Ben Johnson. The three actors do what they can, and MacMurray manages a few moments that are genuinely endearing and humorous. But this entire subplot goes nowhere, has nothing at all to do with the story, and is abruptly cut off about an hour from the end. To add to the waste of these great actors, this would be Fred MacMurray's final performance. The man who starred in Double Indemnity, a contender for classic Hollywood's greatest film noir, and who would go on to create a memorably multi-faceted sleazebag in The Caine Mutiny, would end his career with... this.

Various Cameos: Slim Pickins gets a genuinely good scene as a grieving father. He's only on screen for about five minutes, but he makes an impression - which is more than can be said for most of the rest of the all-star cast. Richard Chamberlain is present a fair amount, but he doesn't actually do anything. Had his lines been split between Caine and Fonda, I doubt anyone would notice his absence. Lee Grant pops up as a television reporter in another bit that adds nothing and goes nowhere. Patty Duke appears just long enough to officially be in the movie and manages to do even less than Lee Grant. Finally, José Ferrer's cameo is so out-of-nowhere that I actually started laughing when he appeared. With the exception of Pickins, all of these bits should have been cut, both to reduce the overlong run time and to tighten up the script.

Dr. Krim (Henry Fonda) begins his work amidst literal piles of the dead.

THOUGHTS:

"I never dreamed that it would turn out to be the bees. They've always been our friend."
-Dr. Bradford Crane (Michael Caine). Perhaps he expected an invasion of fire ants instead. Or possibly mosquitoes.

The Swarm is an infamously bad movie. Producer Irwin Allen had pushed through such previous mammoth productions as The Poseidon Adventure and The Towering Inferno, and this was clearly meant to be another "big" film - big budget, filled with big names, big set pieces, and more big 'splosions than one would reasonably expect in a movie about bees.

It turned out to be a big bomb, and its failure was a sign that audiences were growing weary of disaster epics. It would take a few more years for the genre to truly die, but The Swarm seems to mark the moment that the disaster film's fortunes turned.

The movie opens surprisingly well, with the hazmat-suited military team exploring the base and finding the bodies of the dead. Stirling Silliphant's script moves quickly from there to establishing the basic situation, with Dr. Crane put in charge of the response and making the base his command center by the twenty-minute mark. The pieces are in place for a decent little thriller.

Unfortunately, Irwin Allen made the choice to direct the film himself. Allen was a skilled producer, adept at securing generous budgets, gathering talent, and finding opportunities to publicize his A-list shlock into "Events." But he wasn't a film director, and this shows constantly throughout the movie.

Scenes are awkwardly blocked, with actors standing in positions that seem designed mainly to fit as many faces into the frame as possible. Many scenes have dead spaces, with shots running for full seconds after they should have cut. Pacing is erratic, even within the set pieces, and there are bizarre gaps in the storytelling. During a bee attack, Michael Caine and Katharine Ross get trapped in a freezer. Cut to later, and they're out and about again, with their release from that freezer unshown and not even filled in with a throwaway line.

Then there's the dialogue, which leads to...

The hilarious giant bee hallucination - and this isn't the only one in the movie!

AN ACCIDENTAL COMEDY CLASSIC:

"Will history blame me or the bees?"
-Gen. Slater (Richard Widmark) in a moment of contemplation.

When the dialogue branches out from exposition, it tends to land on accidental comedy. I've already cited "the bees have always been our friend," but there are several similarly hilarious bits. Caine gets the worst of them, such as when Dr. Crane snaps to Gen. Slater that the bees "are killing Americans, without reference as to whether or not they have a serial number and expected to salute you!" Katharine Ross also briefly discards robot mode for 1950s melodrama as, distraught after an attack, Helena cries out to Dr. Crane: "My God, Brad, what good is all that science? All that equipment at the base? All those doctors? What good are YOU!?!"

Unintended comedy doesn't stop with the dialogue. The bee attacks should be horrifying, people writhing in agony as they are stung to death. Instead, they become hilarious, the victims looking not like terrified people in agony, but instead like street performers putting on an interpretive dance show. Double the camp value anytime the deaths play out in slow motion.

Then there are the hallucinations. Paul, recovering in the hospital, can't focus on Dr. Crane or Helena, because all he sees is the image of a giant killer bee. This might be disturbing if what we saw was just Paul's reaction to the hallucination as the others try to snap him out of it. Instead, Irwin Allen insists on showing us the giant bee, which at one point floats beside Michael Caine's shoulder. The effect is... um, probably not what was intended.

It's all capped off with a climax involving hazmat-suited soldiers fighting the bees street by street using flamethrowers. One unlucky soldier doesn't merely die - He gets covered in bees, then set aflame, then falls through glass, then plunges to the ground below. When he finally hits the bottom, I half-expected him to explode just to complete the overkill.

Fred MacMurray proposes to Olivia de Haviland in a scene that feels like it's from a different movie.

VERSIONS:

The Swarm was theatrically released with a running time of 116 minutes. The DVD, blu-ray, and streaming releases tend to favor the 155 minute extended cut, though some disc versions do include the theatrical version as well.

Reading up on the differences at movie-censorship.com, I'd say the theatrical cut is likely better from a dramatic standpoint, trimming down some of the longer scenes and paring back on some of the subplots. However, I'd still recommend the extended version for one big reason: The comedy.

The editors must have been trying to "save" The Swarm as a thriller, because the theatrical cut discards most of the comically cheesy dialogue. The quotes I've mentioned for Michael Caine and Katharine Ross? They're exclusive to the extended cut.

As a result, the theatrical version is probably "less bad" as a thriller - but the melodramatic dialogue makes the longer version a lot funnier.

Dr. Crane and Gen. Slater (Richard Widmark) clash over the best response to the killer bee crisis.

OVERALL:

"The African killer bee portrayed in this film bears absolutely no relationship to the industrious, hard-working American honey bee to which we are indebted for pollinating vital crops that feed our nation."
-The title card assures us that our good American bees are nothing like those darn foreign bees.

The film repeatedly notes how little the swarm's behavior resembles that of American bees. Beyond that, their behavior (and toxicity) is completely different from actual Africanized bees, something which is lampshaded in a briefing scene... only for the movie to continue referring to the bees as "African" for the remainder of the running time. Really, this is some mutant strain that is so hyperintelligent and so resistant to all normal means of pest control that if one replaced every use of the word "bee" with "space alien," the script would actually seem more plausible and would make more sense!

This is both the problem and the saving grace of The Swarm. It's a terrible movie, with no internal credibility at all. It starts off with a promising structural framework, but it gets ever stupider as it goes along, and poor directorial choices result in potential moments of tension becoming unintentionally funny.

Still, I will say this: It's not only watchable; when viewed in the right frame of mind, it's thoroughly entertaining. I had a great time with The Swarm, cackling at the dialogue, at the combination of hammy acting and robot acting, and at the over-the-top death scenes.

So in the end, a sort of split recommendation. By any reasonable measure, this is a dreadful motion picture. But if you're looking for a fun "B" movie to laugh at, then this might just be worth a glance.


Overall Rating: 3/10. Bad enough to justify a "1" - but I just had too much fun watching it.


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Everest.

A group of climbers prepares to take on Mount Everest - with tragic results.

"We don't need competition between people. There is competition between every person and this mountain. The last word always belongs to the mountain."
-Anatoli Boukreev (Ingvar Eggert Sigurðsson), shortly before the 1996 disaster on Mount Everest.


Release Date: Sept. 25, 2015. Running Time: 121 minutes. Screenplay: William Nicholson, Simon Beaufoy. Director: Baltasar Kormákur.


THE PLOT:

New Zealand climber Rob Hall (Jason Clarke) is the founder of Adventure Consultants, a company best known for conducting commercial expeditions to the summit of Mount Everest. Since founding his company, Rob has successfully led 39 people to the summit with not a single fatality.

But in the summer of 1996, the situation is different. The success of Adventure Consultants and fellow guide Scott Fischer (Jake Gyllenhaal)'s Mountain Madness has led to increased competition, and the mountain is crowded. Wait times for such simple things as crossing bridges and ladders threaten to create accidents in parts of the hike that should be (comparatively) "safe." The carefully installed guide ropes need repaired. Finally, there are financial and PR pressures: The previous year, no one in Rob's group reached the summit; and this year, there are two different journalists along for the climb, one with Rob's group and one with Scott's, with both men determined to get some good press to set them apart from their rivals.

It's a situation destined to lead to mistakes. And with a storm coming in, those mistakes will soon turn deadly...

Climber Beck Weathers (Josh Brolin) wonders if his hobby is worth the strain on his family.

CHARACTERS:

Rob Hall: Character actor Jason Clarke was cast after Christian Bale dropped out. I think this is to the film's benefit, as Bale's star presence might have distracted while Clarke makes Rob appropriately life-sized. The Rob portrayed in the film seems cautious by nature, emphasizing that his main job is to get his climbers back down safely; Scott Fischer at one point refers to him as a "hand-holder." Nevertheless, Rob is under pressure this year to provide results, which leads to errors in judgment. In the end, he's neither particularly blamed nor exonerated - He's just a man who makes a couple of bad calls that he usually wouldn't have made and that usually wouldn't have mattered... except that events come together in just the wrong way, leading to disaster.

Scott Fischer: "If you can't get up there yourself, you shouldn't be on the mountain at all." As the photos of the real individuals on the end credits make clear, Jake Gyllenhaal doesn't even remotely physically resemble Scott Fischer. However, he nails the attitude for the character as written. Scott is more laid-back than Rob, less inclined to worry about setbacks. He's also driven to compete. Even after he and Rob agree to team up for safety reasons, he insists on coming right back up the mountain even after escorting an ailing client down. He's physically pushing himself far too hard in the process... but particularly with reporters on-hand, he isn't about to let Rob be the only guide on the summit.

Beck Weathers: The client who receives the most individual attention is Josh Brolin's Beck. He's introduced as an "Ugly American," whose loud voice and boisterous manner threaten to become obnoxious. As the film continues, however, a more thoughtful side emerges. He's climbing Everest against his wife (Robin Wright)'s wishes, and he worries about his relationship with his family. He openly wonders if his obsession with climbing actually is worth it. However, as he tells new friend and fellow climber Doug (John Hawkes), he's driven by his own demons. "When I'm at home, I just got this big, black cloud following me... And when I'm out here... It's just like it's a cure. I feel like I'm reborn."

Helen Wilton: The base camp manager, whom Rob describes to the climbers as "your mum for the next few weeks." As a character, she mainly exists to provide a supportive presence. Thankfully, actress Emily Watson elevates her into a more significant figure. Watson balances a calm professionalism with enough emotion to make an impression, particularly when she tries to talk Rob down from the mountain or when she talks to another climber's wife to advise her of the situation and to keep her expectations realistic.

Jon Krakauer: This film is specifically not based on Krakauer's Into Thin Air, and the real Krakauer was incensed about his portrayal. He was particularly bothered by a scene in which he pleads snow-blindness when asked to help rescue survivors. Krakauer insists this scene never took place, and I believe him, largely because the scene makes absolutely no sense. Had this inexpert climber attempted to assist during a horrible storm, he'd have simply ended up being another person in need of rescuing. Outside of this moment, he doesn't come across as badly as Krakauer's reaction would make you believe. Still, he's more plot device than person, acting as an Exposition Sponge, allowing the climbers to voice things they already know for the audience's sake, and also a source of pressure for Rob and Scott by the very nature of his presence as a journalist.

Guy Cotter: Sam Worthington, an actor I usually don't much rate, is surprisingly good here. Guy is a background character, one of the guides working with Rob Hall. After the disaster strikes, with Rob stuck on the summit, Guy comes to the foreground. He takes leadership at the base camp, working with Helen to manage the situation. The role proves to be a perfect fit with the actor's screen persona; though he's more recognizable than most of his co-stars, that very fact helps him stand out a little in the ensemble even in the early stages, making it feel more "right" when he takes over late in the story.

Anatoli Boukreev: One of the more memorable characters surrounding is the Russian-born climber who ended up saving several lives - but whose refusal to use supplemental oxygen ("O") was used by some to blame him for not being able to save more. I tend to defend Boukreev. Though accounts make it clear that he was hardly the most popular person among the group, some of the very things he was criticized for - returning to camp while climbers were still on the summit, for instance - put him in a position to mount a rescue later. The movie also allows him to explain his refusal to rely on "O," stating that it leads to "bigger problems if you run out." Icelandic-born Ingvar Eggert Sigurðsson provides a strong presence, his stoic face communicating much with only a few lines of dialogue.

Jan Hall/Peach Weathers: Keira Knightley and Robin Wright are cast in potentially thankless roles, as the wives of Rob Hall and Beck Weathers. Fortunately, the script gives both of them a couple memorable moments, which both actresses make the most of. Robin Wright dives headfirst into a scene in which Peach uses her influence to call for help for her stranded husband, while Knightley's final satellite phone conversation (reportedly taken mostly verbatim from the actual conversation) is the emotional high point of the film.

Jan Hall (Keira Knightley) makes an emotional phone call.

BASED ON A TRUE STORY - WITH A FEW EMBELLISHMENTS:

"Human beings simply aren't built to function at the cruising altitude of a 747. Once we get above here... our bodies will be literally dying."
-Rob Hall explains to his climbers the reality of Everest's final ascent.

Everest recounts the real-life 1996 Mount Everest disaster, which claimed the lives of eight people. It was the deadliest season for Everest on record at that time, though earthquakes and avalanches have created even worse incidents since.

For the most part, director Baltasar Kormákur and screenwriters William Nicholson and Simon Beaufoy have endeavored to stay reasonably true to the verified chain of events. However, like any movie based on fact, this is a movie first and a true story second, and there are deviations from the historical record.

During one of the short "acclimatizing climbs" the group does as prep for the final ascent, the climbers experience a long wait before crossing ladders spanning a chasm. When it's Beck's turn, numbness in his hands almost leads to a fall, with Rob dramatically rescuing him. Like the rest of the film, it's stunningly shot, and the 3D version creates a sense of vertigo here. There's even a good line at the end of the scene, as Beck complains that he doesn't want to die "because I'm waiting in line like I'm in freaking Walmart!"

There's only one issue: This never actually happened. The wait did, and reports indicate that Beck and Japanese climber Yasuko Namba (played here by Torchwood's Naoko Mori) struggled during the crossing. However, there was no near-fall and no dramatic rescue - That's been put here in order to punch up the drama going into the Second Act and to show through action why the guides are so worried about crowding. It also positions Rob as a heroic figure before events spiral out of his control.

There are also deletions made for the sake of streamlining. In the movie, the climbers are delayed in the final ascent by unrepaired guide ropes. In reality, this happened at two different points during the ascent... but seeing variations of the same scene twice would be repetitive, so the first delay has been removed. The film also portrays a seemingly impossible helicopter rescue. The reality was actually more dramatic: after the pilots rescued one injured climber, they came back to rescue a second one. I suspect this was simplified because, by this point, the movie has reached its "wrap-up" phase, making it dramatically tighter to portray only one rescue even if the reality was actually more impressive than what's on film.

Oddly, there's only one scene in the movie that seems truly ridiculous. One climber, unconscious for hours in the storm, suddenly not only wakes up when this person should already be dead but even manages to stand and walk back to camp. It's jaw-droppingly ludicrous, easily the most "Hollywood" thing in the movie...

And, according to the person involved, it is portrayed almost exactly as it actually occurred, showing that fact is sometimes more implausible than fiction.

Guide Rob Hall (Jason Clarke) worries about the many issues plaguing this year's ascent...

WARNING SIGNS AND THE HAWTHORNE EFFECT:

"It's all good and well to make the top... but you pay me to bring you down safely." -Rob Hall (Jason Clarke).

One of the most interesting aspects of the movie is the way it tracks the pressures and mistakes that led to the disaster. Warning signs begin early, with the observation of how crowded Everest has become. Scott Fischer complains to Anatoli that there is too much competition; Rob tries to get the various climbing companies to agree to a rotated schedule to minimize risks but is harshly rebuffed. After this, he and Scott team up for the safety of their climbers - but their sherpas are less inclined to cooperate, and there are indications of confusion about who has responsibility for which tasks.

Then there are the journalists. The Hawthorne Effect refers to the ways people change their behavior when they are conscious of being observed. The film opens with Rob expressing excitement at poaching Krakauer from Scott, as it's clear that a positive write-up will boost business. Scott responds by inviting Pittman, giving him a journalist to sing his praises.

It's clear, if unspoken, that the reporters' mere presence changes the guides' behavior. Early in the film, Rob emphasizes that part of his job is to turn his climbers back when their time limit passes. He doesn't end up doing this on the day, however, pushing well past his time window to make sure that his group makes it to the top. Scott also pushes himself past his body's limits to be at the summit with Rob - and, one suspects more specifically, with the journalists. Ultimately, the viewer is left with the impression that minus their observers, both guides might have made different decisions.

The storm blows in.

OTHER MUSINGS:

The movie is beautifully shot, making excellent use of locations that include the actual Everest base camp. It also is a rare film that properly utilizes 3D. Depth is emphasized to strong effect. At the base camp, you can see the full incline, with every tent and blanket and piece of litter seeming to shout that these tourists really don't belong here. On the mountain, that sense of depth emphasizes every drop and chasm, notably in a shot that sees two climbers on a ledge with a misty abyss directly to their right. When a climber dangles over the edge, we can see the drop below. It's all highly effective; for viewers with home 3D equipment, this is a case where I'd unquestionably recommend the 3D Blu-ray over the 2D one..

The story is well told, the screenplay making clear the pressures, mistakes, and bits of bad luck that helped create the disaster. Unlike some written accounts, there's no attempt to either to blame or absolve the people involved. Rob and Scott are portrayed in sympathetic terms, as are all the guides and climbers (even Movie Krakauer doesn't come across anywhere near as badly as Real-Life Krakauer seems to think he does). People in a high-pressure situation make some mistakes and have some bad luck... none of which would have mattered had that storm not come up when it did.

I have only one real complaint about Everest as a movie, though it's a big one: the supporting characters, including many of the climbers who died, are given so little attention that they never emerge as individuals! Rob, Scott, and Beck all get decent character moments, but most of the rest are either portrayed in broad strokes or relegated to being little more than extras. Japanese climber Yasuko (Naoko Mori) has one of the most interesting stories of any of the climbers, and yet the film pays only the most cursory attention to her. She's not alone in that; even after two viewings, I found myself having to look up names - not just a few names, but most of them! 

At the summit: A moment of triumph, just before everything goes to hell...

OVERALL:

At a brisk 2 hours (almost ten minutes of which is credits), Everest benefits from strong pacing that never seriously lags. It's well acted, with Jason Clarke and Josh Brolin particularly good, and the expertly executed 3D presentation helps to create a sense that the viewer is there with the climbers.

I wish the script had taken a little more time to develop the supporting characters; I think it would have paid dividends at the climax if the viewer felt emotionally attached. Despite this, Everest exceeded my expectations when I first watched it, and I liked it even better this time around.

The usual "true story" disclaimer applies; enjoy the film, but also take time to look up accounts of the real incident. Still, judging this as a movie, I have no trouble calling it a good one.


Overall Rating: 8/10.


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Two-Minute Warning.

Police work to stop a sniper from firing on the Super B... ah, "championship."

Release Date: Nov. 12, 1976. Running Time: 115 minutes. Screenplay: Edward Hume. Based on the novel by George LaFountaine. Producer: Edward S. Feldman. Director: Larry Peerce.


THE PLOT:

It's Super Bowl Sunday (well, "championship game day," since the NFL didn't grace this movie with its stamp of approval), and the Los Angeles Memorial Colosseum is playing to a sold-out crowd of almost 100,000. VIPs include the Los Angeles mayor, a Saudi prince, and potentially the President of the United States. The crowd settles in to enjoy what's expected to be a close game. But they aren't the only ones watching...

A sniper has set up a position above the stadium, by the scoreboard. When the Goodyear Blimp catches him on camera, police captain Peter Holly (Charlton Heston) identifies his rifle as a semi-automatic - creating the potential for disaster. He calls in Sgt. Chris Button (John Cassavetes)'s SWAT team, but insists no one take a shot until he gives the order. As he observes, if the SWAT team doesn't bring the man down with their first shot, then the shooter will have time to unload any number of rounds on anyone at the game.

A sold-out game: Roughly 100,000 probable targets...

CHARACTERS:

Capt. Holly: It's unusual to see Charlton Heston cast as the voice of caution, but that is largely his role here. From the moment he arrives on scene, Capt. Holly's focus is on managing the situation, doing all he can to avoid provoking the sniper while still preparing for action. He joins in with the SWAT assault at the end... which might just be the least plausible thing in the movie. I can't imagine that a real SWAT leader would even entertain allowing a man on the operation who spends most of his working hours at a desk, and his participation in the climax seems to exist largely to allow Heston a "hero moment."

Sgt. Button: John Cassavetes projects a more authentic presence than Heston, and his is actually the better role. Though Capt. Holly all but accuses him of being trigger-happy, the sergeant is proved right in almost everything he says. When Holly insists on taking no action until the VIPs have been escorted out, given that they're the most probable targets, Button scoffs: "Everybody's a probable target."  He believes that they should take the first good shot they get, to make sure they stop the shooter before he can act, and he doesn't hide his annoyance when he briefs his men and lets them know that the situation hasn't yet been officially turned over to them.

Sam McKeever: The stadium manager (Martin Balsam) is a somewhat incoherent character. He calls Capt. Holly immediately when the blimp spots the sniper... only to refuse to allow any evacuation of the stadium. After the stadium's maintenance chief (Brock Peters) is hurt, he is insistent on getting a doctor to him... But the entire reason the man was in harm's way was McKeever's own pointless antagonism toward him. Is he meant to be a responsible person in authority or a TV-level Pompous Bureaucrat? The film can't make up its mind from one scene to the next - meaning that when he seems on the verge of tears in the final minutes, it's impossible to feel much empathy.

Mike Ramsay: An almost startlingly young Beau Bridges plays a man attending the game with his wife and two young sons. Early scenes establish that he has a fondness for looking through binoculars... a habit that results in him spying the sniper. In most films, he would be an audience identification figure, the ordinary person caught up in extraordinary events. However, early scenes establish him as rather a jerk, snapping at his wife (Pamela Bellwood) for little reason and smacking one of his sons for wanting to buy a hat before the game. Mike's nasty moments are fairly pointless in the overall story, and just serve to make him difficult to empathize with when the action gets moving.

Stu Sandman: Empathy also doesn't overflow for Stu (Jack Klugman), a gambler who is so badly in debt to a mobster that his life literally depends on the outcome of this game. Since he's first seen throwing his mob-borrowed money around like confetti, our initial impression of him is not a positive one - though he is the focus of one of the film's more bizarre moments, when mobsters dangle him out a window in broad daylight, apparently unbothered at the potential for witnesses.  All of that said, Klugman's comic timing boosts his scenes in the second half, as he anxiously (and profanely) watches the game while seated next to a priest (Mitchell Ryan).

Steve/Janet: David Janssen and Gena Rowlands, as a bickering middle-aged couple, come across as more relatable than most of the other potential victims. Not because they're particularly likable - They aren't, with Rowlands a little too fond of liquor and Janssen terminally grumpy. But the two actors fit together on screen, and the performers maintain a sense of mutual fondness even as they snipe at each other, which makes them come across better than most of the cast.

The Pickpocket: Walter Pidgeon plays an aging pickpocket stealing his way through the crowded stadium. There's nothing particularly noteworthy about the role. The man has no name, and barely any dialogue. But Pidgeon's presence, in his next-to-last role in his last major film, merits at least a passing note.

The Sniper: We never comprehend why the sniper is doing this. He's introduced through POV shots, with us seeing the world through his eyes. We see his gun in close-up, or peer through his rifle scope as he cycles through possible targets. We don't even see his face until the end, and the only line of dialogue he receives is entirely unilluminating. Contemporary critics hated this aspect of the film, but I think it's the movie's best element. Any motive would simply reduce him as a threat (for proof, witness the network television version, which shows us his face - a lot - and gives him a motive. A really, really silly motive).

A family man (Beau Bridges) sees something unexpected through his binoculars.

THOUGHTS:

"Don't try to get logical about these kooks. You never know who he's after. Half the time, he doesn't know... Maybe he's waiting to see what happens in the game - like who wins or who loses. That's how crazy these people are."
-Sgt Button (John Cassavetes) with the best answer as to the Sniper's motivations.

Though ostensibly a thriller, Two-Minute Warning follows the disaster formula to a "T." A disparate cast of all-star victims are gathered in a setting where calamity might strike at any moment. Each victim has his or her own little story, and those stories fill the long build to sudden carnage. It's a disaster flick in all but name, with a sniper in place of a fire, floor, or earthquake, and it's unsurprising that it's often lumped in with that genre.

One aspect of the film that stands out is how unlikable most of the characters are. Beau Bridges' young father has obvious anger issues, which he takes out on his children more than once during the movie. Jack Klugman's gambler is a loser who spends the money he's borrowed from the mob to procure a young lover whom he paws like a possession. David Janssen and Gena Rowlands spend most of their screen time arguing, with anything engaging coming solely from the performers and not the script. Even the obligatory priest (Mitchell Ryan) is seen checking his watch during services because his mind is on getting to the game on time.

I think this actually suits the film. In most disaster movies, there are one or two Jerk-Faces with No Redeeming Qualities whose deaths we actively root for, while everyone else is made out to be superficially flawed but essentially charming. Here, the people are all seen as essentially petty, which keeps us at a distance from the characters. The result is a cold, even cynical feel that fits the visual we constantly return to: The impersonal gaze through the sniper's scope.

Though better than contemporary reviews would indicate, Two-Minute Warning is a flawed movie. Pacing is uneven, with an overextended setup; even when the police are on scene, once SWAT is in position, it's a long time before they actually do anything. At this point, the cuts through the various supporting characters feel mainly like obligatory check-ins. Overall, it's a movie that should have been more tightly cut: Had this run, say, 96 minutes instead of 115 minutes, it would likely be much more gripping.

Also, because the NFL didn't want to be associated with a movie about a sniper taking out fans at the Super Bowl, everything about the game is hilariously generic. It's obvious that this is meant to be the Super Bowl (in the novel the movie is based on, it's even identified as such), but the movie carefully avoids naming it as anything other than "the game" or "the championship." The teams are Los Angeles and Baltimore... with no team names given, and with generic uniforms.

Offsetting this is a nicely detailed portrayal of the control room responsible for the game's live broadcast, and the inclusion of actual sportscasters Dick Enberg, Frank Gifford, and Howard Cosell to provide commentary on the fictional game. Merv Griffin even shows up to sing the National Anthem.

Looking through the sniper's scope.

THE NETWORK TELEVISION VERSION:

It's debatable whether this or The Concorde: Airport '79 received the most convoluted network television translation. Like that film, Two-Minute Warning had a gob of new footage shot for television, with an entirely new subplot bolted on. The sniper now has a face, a voice, and a motive. He's been hired to do this... as a distraction during an art theft by criminals Rossano Brazzi, Paul Shenar, and Joanna Pettet.

The main reason for this was that the sniper story was deemed too violent for network television. As much footage was removed as was added, all to downplay the central premise. This was not an inexpensive venture, with several name actors featured in the new subplot... and even boasting new footage with star Charlton Heston (wearing a completely different - orange! - hairpiece).

Director Larry Peerce removed his name from this version, and it goes without saying that the TV cut is much, much worse than the theatrical one. To add insult to injury: For many years, the TV version was the only version shown! Still, it's an amusing curio, and I'm glad that the Shout Factory Blu-ray saw fit to include it as a bonus feature.


OVERALL:

Two-Minute Warning was critically savaged on its release, with reviewers who were already weary of the disaster formula further repelled by the ending violence. I'm not going to say that critics completely missed the boat. The film has its flaws, with uneven pacing undermining the tension, and some unintentional comedy arising from the need to avoid using the term "Super Bowl."

Still, this is a highly watchable movie, well-made and with good performances - and its story feels a lot more relevant today than it did at the time of its release.


Overall Rating: 6/10.



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The Towering Inferno.

The fire chief (Steve McQueen) fights a blaze in a high rise,
with help from the building's architect (Paul Newman).

Release Date: Dec. 14, 1974. Running Time: 164 minutes. Screenplay: Stirling Silliphant. Based on: The Tower, by Richard Martin Stern, and The Glass Inferno, by Thomas N. Scortia and Frank M. Robinson. Producer: Irwin Allen. Director: John Guillermin.


THE PLOT:

The dedication of The Glass Tower is meant to be a crowning achievement for architect Doug Roberts (Paul Newman). A 138-story high rise consisting of both apartments and offices, it stands as the tallest building in the world. It should also be one of the safest, as Doug's designs called for meticulous fire prevention measures.

Except... it isn't. An electrical short reveals wiring that, while meeting city code, is far below Doug's specifications. He confronts Roger Simmons (Richard Chamberlain), the electrical contractor and the son-in-law of building developer James Duncan (William Holden), but he gets no answers. As Duncan hosts the dedication party on the building's top floor, Doug insists on a thorough check of all systems, with mounting anxiety.

He has reason to fear the worst. A fire has already broken out in a utility closet on the 81st floor. By the time it is detected, it has grown out of control. It falls to Fire Chief Michael O'Halloran (Steve McQueen) to find a way to save the 300 party guests. And as various cut corners lead to safety systems failing one after another, it becomes all too apparent that time is running out...

Architect Doug Roberts (Paul Newman) discovers that the wiring falls short of his specifications...

CHARACTERS:

Chief O'Halloran: Early drafts of the script had the fire chief as a supporting character.  However, when Steve McQueen was offered the role of the architect, he preferred to play the fireman... at which point the role was considerably beefed up. This is to the film's benefit. Chief O'Halloran arrives at just shy of the 45 minute mark, bringing with him a mixture of expertise and absolute authority, and from that moment he becomes the movie's anchor.

He immediately demonstrates his expertise.  First he complains to Doug about the very existence of high rises, which make his and his men's work much more difficult and dangerous. Then he asks the security officer (O. J. Simpson) for a list of tenants.  The man initially balks at providing that information, so O'Halloran calmly demonstrates why he needs it: "Any wool or silk manufacturers? In a fire, wool and silk give off cyanide gas. Any sporting good manufacturers, like table-tennis balls? They give off toxic gases. Now, do you want me to keep going?". McQueen is terrific, and his best acting is actually nonverbal, his posture and expressions allowing just enough weariness through to make the chief into a human being. There's a shot near the end in which he stares at the bodybags now holding too many of his men. He doesn't say a word, doesn't even really physically react - but for just a second, he looks about 100 years old.

Doug Roberts: Gets more screen time and more direct characterization than O'Halloran. His investigation of the faulty wiring carries the first quarter or so of the movie, and time is also devoted to detailing his relationship with Faye Dunaway's character and his plans to move away from the city after the tower's grand opening. Despite this, and a good performance by Paul Newman, by the last reel he feels very much like a supporting character. Once the fire breaks out, he's mostly left to react to events, with O'Halloran being the one delivering actual solutions - which is probably why McQueen asked for the fire chief role in the first place.

James Duncan: William Holden invests dignity and sturdy presence as the developer. When Doug lays into him for the cut corners, Duncan strikes a defiant tone. "Any decisions that were made for the use of alternate building materials were made because I, as a builder, have a right to make those decisions!" But he quietly reams out his selfish son-in-law, who was the one who actually made the fateful call, telling him that once the crisis is over he will "hang (him) out to dry."

Roger Simmons: Richard Chamberlain has a field day as the resentful, alcoholic villain of the piece. While the rest of the cast perform with stalwart earnestness, Chamberlain goes gleefully over-the-top, missing no opportunity to play up every slimy tic and smirk his role enables. Early scenes see him sneering at first Newman, then Holden, practically daring them to try to hold him accountable for his choices. When the partygoers are randomly assigned numbered cards to mark their turn for rescue, he makes a show of tearing his up, declaring that he and his friends will go next. 

Susan Franklin: Faye Dunaway is Paul Newman's love interest and the movie's de facto female lead. An early scene tells us that she's ambitious, and that a career opportunity has put her and Doug's relationship in jeopardy. Which is a massively contrived conflict, given that Doug can be semi-retired in the city as easily as the country while she pursues her own dreams. That this is barely mentioned again is actually a blessing. Dunaway, a fine actress, is dull as dishwater in a nothing part, and the movie would frankly have been a lot better off without her.

Harlee Claiborne: Somehow, The Towering Inferno ended up being Fred Astaire's only Academy Award nomination. When I read and confirmed that, I was left flabbergasted.  Not that he isn't good: He's charming in his scenes with co-star Jennifer Jones, and he also gets a nice moment of gravity when he uses his jacket to try to save a burning man and then to cover the man's body. But there's nothing remarkable about either the role or the performance. I am glad Astaire has at least the one nomination on his resume... but his career featured vastly more interesting work than this (even discounting his musicals - which would be a mistake - his supporting turn in the bleak nuclear drama On the Beach springs to mind).

Lisolette Mueller: The movie's only memorable female role, Lisolette is tutor to the children of a deaf woman and Harlee's date to the party. She recognizes that he isn't the man he pretends to be, but she enjoys his company enough to pretend to believe him. When the fire breaks out, she rushes to the elevator to rescue her client and her children, and all of them are rescued by Doug. Despite her obvious fear, she emerges as a courageous and admirable woman, and Jones - in her last theatrical film - is very good throughout.

The blaze spreads faster than the firefighters can contain it.

THOUGHTS:

The disaster films of the 1970s were big hits with audiences for a while, but they were never particularly well-received by critics. The Towering Inferno stands as the one exception to that rule. Reviews were largely positive, with critics as impressed by audiences at the large-scale practical effects used to create both the high rise and the fire. The movie was a tremendous hit, and was even nominated as Best Picture (losing, quite rightly, to The Godfather, Part II).

The movie stands the test of time quite well. Despite its length, it's better paced than most of its contemporaries. Doug's investigation into the wiring creates an effective hook for the first part of the movie, which cuts between: Doug's mounting dread over the state of his building; Duncan's preparations for his grand party; and the fire, which begins small and unnoticed in a closet and grows just a little bit bigger every time we cut back to it. If anyone had noticed it in these early stages, it would have been easily extinguished. By the time it's grown enough for smoke to visibly billow from under the doorway, it has become a monster ready to feed.

Screenwriter Stirling Silliphant clearly did his research for this project. There's real conviction to the presentation of the firefighting efforts. I have no doubt there are inaccuracies.  Still, nothing stands out as obviously ridiculous; Chief O'Halloran's orders seem reasonable at every stage, and his efforts to fight the growing conflagration while also trying to rescue Duncan and his party guests feel convincing.

Key to the film's success are the action sequences, which are uniformly excellent. When an explosion obliterates the staircase they've been descending, Doug, Lisolette, and her two young students have to navigate down the wreckage to the floor below. It's a long set piece, but a genuinely tense one. Later, Chief O'Halloran and his men have to rappel down an elevator shaft. One of the younger men, clearly at his breaking point, protests that he's sure he will fall, prompting O'Halloran to make him go first so that if he falls he won't take anyone else with him. Later, O'Halloran desperately clutches the wrists of one of his men as they descend in an outdoor elevator, trying to keep hold until they've reached safety. There's probably at least one close call too many... but since all of these scenes are so gripping, it's impossible to complain about them.

Chief O'Halloran (Steve McQueen) is overwhelmed for a moment - but only for a moment.

THE NETWORK TELEVISION VERSION:

The Towering Inferno already runs fairly close to the 3-hour mark, so the television networks did not have to resort to the convoluted shenanigans of Airport '77 or The Concorde: Airport '79 to pad it out to fill two nights. About twenty minutes of deleted scenes were re-inserted. One addition actually mitigates a flaw. In the theatrical version, co-star Robert Wagner is only briefly in the film and only barely interacts with the main leads. The television version re-inserts a scene in which he talks William Holden's Duncan out of canceling the party in response to Doug's safety concerns. This was probably removed for pacing reasons - but without it, Wagner's presence is all but inexplicable, and so it likely should have been retained.

The rest of the additions are superfluous, largely showing why they were cut in the first place: Faye Dunaway and Susan Blakely talk about the men in their lives; the city's mayor makes a speech; various existing scenes are extended a bit too far. As is usually the case, the theatrical version is preferable to the television one.  Still, at least in this case the television version is recognizable as the same movie, and the extensions at least come from footage shot at the time rather than material cobbled together for television.

Before the crisis: The Glass Tower, with all 138 floors lit up.

OVERALL:

The Towering Inferno is probably the best of the wave of 1970s disaster films. The practical effects remain convincing and effective, and the action scenes are gripping. Most of the cast is excellent, with Steve McQueen in particularly good form, lending credibility to the usual disaster film theatrics.

Probably the best thing I can say about it? The movie runs roughly 2 hours 45 minutes. After the first 30 minutes or so, I was too gripped by the action to notice the time passing.


Overall Rating: 9/10.



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Airplane II: The Sequel.

Mayflower One's maiden flight may be in a little trouble...

Release Date: Dec. 10, 1982. Running Time: 85 minutes. Screenplay: Ken Finkleman. Producer: Howard W. Koch. Director: Ken Finkleman.


THE PLOT:

It is "The Future!", and the Mayflower One - the first passenger shuttle to the moon - is about to launch, under the command of Captain Clarence Oveur (Peter Graves). There are rumblings among the ground crew that the launch has been rushed, but only one man attempted to go public. That man was Ted Striker (Robert Hays), the head test pilot, who insisted the shuttle had serious issues - but who was declared insane for his efforts.

When Striker learns that the flight is launching, he escapes from the asylum and purchases a ticket. His ex-girlfriend, Elaine (Julie Hagerty), is certain that the problems are all in Ted's mind. Until the computer goes haywire, neutralizing the flight crew and setting the shuttle on a direct course for the sun... leaving Ted the only man with any chance of saving the lives of everyone aboard. Again!

Captain Oveur (Peter Graves) gets a bit
too friendly with young Jimmy.

CHARACTERS:

Striker: "I'm not your problem this time - The computer is!" One thing the sequel gets right is that Striker has progressed from his state in the first film. Sure, we repeat the gags about him talking people to death via flashbacks and there's a brief return of his peculiar "drinking problem." For the most part, though, this film presents a more confident Striker, more ready to take control and to commit to action. Robert Hays seems to respond to this characterization; though the film isn't remotely as good as the original, Hays' performance is actually stronger.

Elaine: So let me get this straight. In the original film, she dumped Ted for his various problems, only to go back to him after he saved the flight. As this film opens, she dumps him again... and to make it worse, she does so because he's been set up as unstable, and then moves on to one of the men framing him! Yes, early 1980s Julie Hagerty is gorgeous, but at this point I honestly think Ted should stop trying to win her back and instead search for a partner who can be supportive outside of life-or-death situations.

The Ground Crew: Lloyd Bridges and Stephen Strucker reprise their roles as substance abusing ground controller McCroskey and the campy controller Jacobs. Both are basically repeating their gags from the original, but they are still amusing. Robert Stack does not return - but in his place we get William Shatner in full self-parody as Buck Murdock, veteran of Striker's ill-fated mission over Macho Grande ("I don't think I'll ever get over Macho Grande"). Shatner doesn't so much chomp scenery as obliterate it in the style of the Tasmanian Devil, barking incoherent orders with the self-confidence shared by born leaders and idiots... with a growing sense that Murdock falls into the latter category.

The Flight Crew: Peter Graves returns as the ship's captain. He's in less of this film, and most of his bits are just repeating the "Oveur/Dunn" and pedophile jokes from the earlier film. As with other repeated jokes, they aren't quite as funny the second time around, though Graves' granite deliveries can't help but raise a smile. His most memorable scene comes at about the one-third mark, when he attempts to disconnect the maverick computer... while the Mission: Impossible theme plays, though ultimately Captain Oveur is no Jim Phelps. The other crew members, played by Kent McCord and James A. Watson Jr., are essentially spare parts, though they exit the film in a genuinely funny visual gag.

Warp Speed causes temporary metabolic changes...

THOUGHTS:

The runaway success of Airplane! made a sequel inevitable. When original filmmakers Jim Abrahams, Jerry Zucker, and David Zucker decided not to return, instead focusing on their short-lived TV series Police Squad!, Paramount moved forward without them. The resulting film was generally poorly received, and plans for a third entry in the series were permanently shelved.

For all of that, I rather like Airplane II. No, it's not as good as the original, but it's vastly better than many later spoofs would be.

The film is at its weakest when it falls back on rehashing gags from the original - something it does far too often. Ted tells stories of his past to unwilling passengers. McCroskey smokes and drinks until he's rendered useless. In a single, five-minute stretch, the film delivers three variations of the first film's, "What's that? It's a large building with patients, but that's not important now" gag - and not a single one of these variations manages to be even a little bit funny.

When it actually invents new gags, though, it delivers some genuinely inventive moments. A Star Wars-like opening crawl (set to the Battlestar Galactica theme) quickly detours from exposition to soft core erotica. The ship going "Warp O.5" results in "metabolic changes" - resulting in all of the passengers temporarily transforming into Richard Nixon. As Striker and Elaine assess the situation in the cockpit, the Grim Reaper appears behind them. Not to mention a space waltz, an unexpected rendition of "The Love Boat," and pretty much every second of William Shatner's screen time.

In the end, Airplane II suffered a less-than-perfect landing.

OVERALL:

Airplane II: The Sequel may not be the classic its predecessor was, but it's still more enjoyable than its reputation suggests. It rehashes too many of the first film's gags, generally to diminished effect. But when it strikes out on its own, it delivers some fun moments; and as with original, it benefits from strong performances.

It's unquestionably worse than the first film, and it was a wise choice to stop the series here. That said, time has been far kinder to this sequel than its dismal reputation would indicate.


Overall Rating: 6/10.

Preceded by: Airplane!



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Airplane!

Ted Striker (Robert Hays) shares a tender
moment with love interest Elaine (Julie Hagerty)

Release Date: June 27, 1980. Running Time: 87 minutes. Screenplay: Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, Jerry Zucker. Based on: Zero Hour!, by Arthur Hailey, Hall Bartlett, John Champion. Producer: Jon Davison. Director: Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, Jerry Zucker.


THE PLOT:

When Ted Striker (Robert Hays) met his girlfriend, Elaine Dickinson (Julie Hagerty), he was a confident fighter pilot. But after his judgment call on a mission resulted in the deaths of his entire squadron, he was left badly shaken. Years later, Elaine - now a flight attendant - has declared that she's leaving him, stating that she cannot be with a man she does not respect. In an impulsive decision, Striker buys a ticket for her Chicago-bound flight, determined to change her mind.

It proves to be a fateful choice. Midway through the flight, passengers begin to fall ill. A doctor (Leslie Nielsen) figures out the common denominator among the sick: They all had fish as their in-flight meal. So did the flight crew, including Captain Oveur (Peter Graves). Soon, the plane is left without a pilot, and with Striker the only passenger aboard with any flight experience. The only hope the passengers and crew have for survival is his rusty skills, honed in a completely different type of plane. If he cannot overcome his past guilt, then they are all doomed!

Elaine, after sharing an intimate moment
with Otto the inflatable auto pilot.

CHARACTERS:

Striker: A character who might have jumped straight from the pages of a Sceenwriting 101 handbook. He has a direct link to the female lead and her job, and a past trauma directly related to the current disaster. He even has a drinking problem... in that he cannot take a drink without splashing liquid in his face. In a drama, all this (well, except the face-splashing) would be the stuff of dire clichés, but it's perfect for this type of parody. Robert Hays, who had started building a career as a serious actor prior to this film, plays the role much the same as if he was in a drama. He isn't stone-faced - when other characters make bizarre statements, he will give a nonplussed look or exchange a glance with Julie Hagerty's Elaine - but he never breaks character or does anything self-consciously goofy, which proves the exact right approach for the role.

Elaine: Though she knows Striker is aboard, she does not mention him as a potential replacement pilot when the captain falls ill. She clearly feels that he isn't up to the task, and likely hopes that a more suitable candidate is aboard. Once Striker is in the captain's chair, however, she works well with him. She also develops a brief but intimate relationship with Otto, the inflatable auto-pilot, in a quite funny visual gag with a terrific stinger. There isn't much characterization for Elaine (a holdover of the original Zero Hour, in which Linda Darnell's character was basically just "The Girl"), but actress Julie Hagerty is game for all the straight-faced physical gags required of her.

Dr. Rumack: "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley." Leslie Nielsen's iconically stone-faced performance transformed his career, remaking a busy but decidedly B-list dramatic actor into a top-tier comedy star. As with other performers in this movie, he scores laughs specifically by playing the role straight. But Nielsen doesn't stop there. He intensifies his crisp, wooden deliveries in such a way that his every utterance is funny: from relating the symptoms of the disease in the cockpit, heedless as the captain suffers each symptom in perfect time to his description, to his dramatic pep talk to Striker, to his repeated last-minute entries into the cabin to tell Striker and Elaine that the passengers are all "counting on you." He emerges as the comic MVP of the movie.

Rex Kramer: Nielsen's only serious competitor for that title is Robert Stack, who is also hilarious as Rex Kramer, Striker's former Commanding Officer. Kramer is a man so dramatic that he wears two pairs of sunglasses - so that after he's done dramatically gesturing with one pair, he can snap off the second pair and dramatically gesture with those! Stack was apparently very much in tune with the script, reportedly even explaining to a confused Lloyd Bridges that "we're the joke," and it shows with what I'd rate as one of the best performances of his career.

The Flight Crew: In contrast to Nielsen and Stack, Peter Graves reportedly did not "get the joke," and had to be persuaded by friends and family to sign on. Despite this, he's almost certainly the best thing about the film's first (slowest) Act, particularly as the captain shows a young boy the cockpit while asking him a series of increasingly creepy questions ("Do you like movies about gladiators?" is the most innocuous of them). Basketball superstar Kareem Abdul-Jabaar plays the co-pilot, which results in one funny scene where he responds to criticisms of his play style, and is itself a nod to the casting of football player Elroy "Crazylegs" Hirsch in the original Zero Hour.

Rex Kramer (Robert Stack).  So dramatic that
he needs two pairs of sunglasses.

THOUGHTS:

In my review of The Big Bus, a 1976 disaster movie spoof that was critically and financially unsuccessful, I noted that it probably was a victim of timing. It came out when disaster movies were still popular, which made audiences less inclined to want to see them made fun of. Airplane! came out when the genre was in its dying days, with films such as Concorde: Airport '79 and When Time Ran Out practically sending themselves up.

Even so, I noted one other disparity between the two movies. Airplane!, though lower budget, is simply a better movie. Forty years on, it has dated a bit. The pace of the gags feels slower now than it did at the time, and the entire shooting style seems more suited to the small screen than the large. Even so, and particularly once you get past the first half-hour, the movie retains its charm and, at its core, works in a way that The Big Bus often didn't.

There are two key factors in the movie's success: The script and the unified tone. This film was a direct remake of Zero Hour, a (too) straight-faced 1957 disaster movie co-scripted by Arthur Hailey. Yes, the Arthur Hailey who went on to write Airport. Zero Hour wasn't that noteworthy in itself, but it was well-structured and remains watchable (if unintentionally comical in itself). Most of all, it is an extremely well-structured screenplay, with a first act that neatly introduces the characters and the dilemma, which then builds before being resolved in a nail-biting climax.

All of that is retained for Airplane! This means that even when the jokes fall flat (and many do), the plot itself is still moving forward. There are deviations that swipe at other targets: a stewardess gives a child transplant patient a guitar serenade, as in Airport 1975... only in this film, she keeps knocking the IV out of the girl's arm, leaving the patient in convulsions. Hints of the filmmaker's previous sketch comedy, Kentucky Fried Movie, appear through Ted Striker's flashbacks, which lampoon targets such as From Here to Eternity and Saturday Night Fever. But it's worth noting that most of these deviations slow down the pace, even when they are funny. The movie is easily at its best when it sticks to the central plot, which it fortunately does for the bulk of its running time.

The film maintains a unified tone, presenting itself as a heightened drama. Heightened to the point of utter ridiculousness, that is. The filmmakers make sure all the main actors are playing their roles straight. We know we're watching a comedy, but the characters don't realize that they're in one. There is one exception: Stephen Stucker's flamboyant air traffic controller, who is definitely there to be zany. But he doesn't break the tone, I think because he only gets a very small amount of screen time and because he strikes a contrast with the rest of the cast.

Dr. Rumack (Leslie Nielsen) delivers a pep talk to
an anxious Striker.  Just don't call him Shirley.

OVERALL:

Airplane! remains great fun to watch. Yes, gags such as the overlong Saturday Night Fever riff aren't as funny as they used to be, and once-topical references to Ronald Reagan and to well-known coffee commercials just don't land forty years on. Even so, the movie has the joyous irreverence of the late 1970s, utterly unconcerned by the prospect of causing offense. It also benefits from a strong story structure, which keeps the narrative on track even when the jokes falter, and it almost single-handedly transformed the career of co-star Leslie Nielsen.

A classic.


Overall Rating: 9/10.

Sequel: Airplane II: The Sequel



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